Thursday, March 24, 2011

Beware the Ides of March

You have to watch out for those ides, they get you every time.

The winter was colder than usual, and Spring very wet and grey. The earth keeps up that stubborn tilt on its axis, though, so the sun keeps getting higher in the sky and the weather warms up, in spite of the daily forecast of showers (scattered showers, chance of showers, slight showers, heavy showers, bathroom showers). And despite my mood, there are bright piles of daffodils coming up everywhere, and the plums have gone pink all over town.

I'm not the only one complaining about the weather; my coworker said she is ready to move the hell back to LA, away from the RAIN, and she's lived here for years. Most years around March we get a little peak of good weather, a glorious warm sunny day or too makes everyone act a little crazy before the clouds descend again, but it hasn't happened yet this year.

I frequently don't seem to know what to do with myself lately. I am angry and sad and defeated, and it manifests itself in ugly ways. I've never been very good at anger. Or winter. The anxiety's rising up again; I was all clingy with K the Love Monkey this evening and I worry some car's going to side swipe him on one of his rides. He is turning into quite the bike guy. Such as, defined thighs. I try to bike in to work once a week. I'm falling swiftly behind.

January, February, March are my trifecta of least favorite months (sorry K). Dark, cold, grey, with no holidays in sight. Maybe the weather will give me a break in April. I could use a departure from the gloom.

These are the cherry trees in waterfront park, from 2 years ago, which my photo program tells me were blooming April 2nd. That's about right for this year, too, I think; I bike by them on the way to work and they are in heavy bud.