Sunday, June 23, 2013

Swearing on a Sunday

I am updating my resume. This is not a thing I enjoy. I enjoy it even less that it very much needs to go through some external editing by a volunteer (likely the Love Monkey, if he's willing).

Some people do the Review Your Life thing at New Year's or their birthday, but I tend to veer away from self-reflection, probably because my internal mirror has been so distorted for so long that I don't really trust it for any healthy evaluations. But for me, Resume Revision Time is one of those times; plus I get to do it in excruciating, properly punctuated detail:

Just what the hell have you done with your life for the last x years? Was it worth it? What do you have to show for it? You do realize You Are Getting Older?

I was not kidding about the doilies

Not to mention the exercise in coming up with a bazillion other ways of saying "write", "run", and "test".

Instead of the celebration of Kick Assed-ness that it seems like it should be, instead it is a more of an negative look at what I haven't done. At the same time I get personally invested in those little highly-tuned phrases, and am loathe for anyone I know to look at them critically. It all kind of adds up to a big blob of get over yourself, please. And I would if I could but that part of my brain just will not shut up.

Sadly, doily construction is a specialized category of interest that most of my intended resume readers will not care about at all, except to look at me funny and back away slowly.

At least, one of the things I'm good at is considering audience, so if I can pick myself out of the little wallow of self-doubt I am stuck in, I can probably inject at least a little objectivity into this. Not to mention the whole subtext of how lucky I am to have a good job right now that I could choose to leave.

So how's your Sunday?

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Happy Solstice

(which was yesterday)

Well, hello there. It's been an eventful few months. I go through periods where I think that all that I write is garbage so I don't write anything. And then days become weeks become months and I wonder how it got to be almost the end of June already. But then I just get to a point where I feel like dumping a bunch of stuff out there just so it won't stay in my head, boring or no. I'm not making anyone read it. You have your own free will, right?

First off, Mom is doing well. She spent more time in the no-load-bearing cast, then graduated to a weight-bearing cast and could slowly start to put weight on it. The x-rays show that the fused joints at the place of the fracture are healing. Now she's in a walking boot and finally allowed to drive again. I'm so glad she's got back some independence. It was hard for her to not be able to do her own shopping and need rides everywhere.
Mom's new purple cast, a couple days before I left in April

In further medical news, I injured my back, again. On a friend's recommendation I found a wonderful chiropractor specializing in soft tissue damage who has me better than before the injury. We're still working to see if I can get rid of scar tissue & knotted muscles I've had since the last injury, 5+ years ago. I am not really fond of 45 minutes of PT exercises a day. But if it makes it so I can stand for more than 15 min without pain, or be able to do longer walks & hikes, I'm diligent.

It's made life a bit difficult, because for a couple weeks there I wasn't supposed to do more than walk 100 ft or so. And I pretty much walk everywhere. Much happier now that I can do the round trip to the grocery store.
Frances takes a late afternoon siesta

Job is extra stressful. Should have left already (lather, rinse, repeat).  But now is not an auspicious time so I am stuck because....

We are buying a place, and mortgage companies really like that job stability thing. Fingers crossed (and legs and eyes and whatever else can be) that it works out. It's really nice and I want to live there very much. Even though that means moving again.

I finished this:
Path of Flowers Stole, by Chrissy Gardiner

Well, honestly I finished it last October or so, and finally blocked the monster out this Spring. I knit until I ran out of yarn. I like it, although I'm not entirely pleased by the edge (bottom and top are a bit raggedy, and sides, which roll a bit). I did use a fairly light-weight lace (not cobweb, just heading that way)

I've always been a sucker for that pretty bell-flower pattern. You can find it on its lonesome in one of the first two Barbara Walker collections. Yarn is Ornaghi Filati Merino Oro, white dyed to red. (I had two skeins: the first Michelle & I dyed this brighter red, the second darker red. We called it the vampire series and labeled them Venous and Arterial. Michelle has Venous). The pattern works nicely with this almost-a-solid-not-quite variegation.

Otherwise I have fallen down the black hole of cotton doilies. Why doilies? Why not?

This is just one of them. I think I'm up to 8 or 9 now. I have no need for doilies and no where to put them. All I can say is: lace, that changes all the time, enough to hold your interest, but doesn't last too long. They're like popcorn, I finish one then think: just one more, won't take long. Current one is a Niebling, Chrysanthemum (rav link), and bigger than any I've done before. I am stopping at the 144 rounds mark, though, because I think that's plenty and what again am I going to do with these?

By the way, I think Mom's circular cast-on is just a slight variation of Emily Ocker's cast-on, except after the center, Mom works with 2 needles instead of 3+ until there are enough stitches to hold onto the needles without them slipping out.

Mostly I am still weenying out of actually Knitting A Real Sweater, Dammit. Time to ditch this ridiculous fear of failure. Dear brain: could use a little logic and less emotion right now.