Sunday, June 23, 2013

Swearing on a Sunday

I am updating my resume. This is not a thing I enjoy. I enjoy it even less that it very much needs to go through some external editing by a volunteer (likely the Love Monkey, if he's willing).

Some people do the Review Your Life thing at New Year's or their birthday, but I tend to veer away from self-reflection, probably because my internal mirror has been so distorted for so long that I don't really trust it for any healthy evaluations. But for me, Resume Revision Time is one of those times; plus I get to do it in excruciating, properly punctuated detail:

Just what the hell have you done with your life for the last x years? Was it worth it? What do you have to show for it? You do realize You Are Getting Older?

I was not kidding about the doilies

Not to mention the exercise in coming up with a bazillion other ways of saying "write", "run", and "test".

Instead of the celebration of Kick Assed-ness that it seems like it should be, instead it is a more of an negative look at what I haven't done. At the same time I get personally invested in those little highly-tuned phrases, and am loathe for anyone I know to look at them critically. It all kind of adds up to a big blob of get over yourself, please. And I would if I could but that part of my brain just will not shut up.

Sadly, doily construction is a specialized category of interest that most of my intended resume readers will not care about at all, except to look at me funny and back away slowly.

At least, one of the things I'm good at is considering audience, so if I can pick myself out of the little wallow of self-doubt I am stuck in, I can probably inject at least a little objectivity into this. Not to mention the whole subtext of how lucky I am to have a good job right now that I could choose to leave.

So how's your Sunday?


fillyjonk said...

I have to submit a Faculty Development Report every year summarizing what I did in the past year. I hate it. (I hated it even more before I had tenure, because I felt like I wasn't doing enough, and I'd never get tenure that way).

I don't do the birthday or New Year's life-evaluation because I feel like having to do it once a year is enough.

Cookie said...

I think doilies are a good phase for you. ;^)

Oh, honey, I hear you. I keep thinking about I'm doing right now and what kind of future I can have down the road because I am NOT getting any younger. /sigh