Tuesday, April 10, 2007


I've been (mentally) away, but for no good reason. Let's just say that every time I felt like writing, it just sounded hideous and whiny and boring. Not as if I've let that stop me before, but I didn't see the point. My raging narcissism was retrenched against the crushing self-doubt and didn't emerge from the trenches until lately. It's still got a sniper trained on it, so I don't know how lucid I'm going to be.

Damn, that makes THREE fire trucks I've seen today. Sorry, quick aside there.

The sky is doing what I call a Simpsons sky, with picture perfect soft blue shading to pale green on the horizon and big puffy cumulus clouds picking up the beginning yellows of the sunset. I bet Mt. Hood looks all regal and is starting to pink up. And Mt. St. Helens probably still looks flat.

For distraction, here are my neices:

NYC neice (two months shy of 2 years)
Talking, walking, and biting the heads off of chocolate bunnies. She has the most fabulous hair. I'm envious as I didn't have such cute baby hair. Her daddy and my love monkey both had those gorgeous blonde curls as babies, too.

Utah neice (two months shy of 1 year)
Just getting her teeth in and crawling everywhere. My brother says she took her first steps on Sunday.

Yo, I know, pictures of other peoples' relatives are the most boring ever. Tough.

We saw Utah girl at Christmas and she's changed so much even since then. We're thinking of going out to see NYC girl and her 'rents in late May or June. I hear it's kind of nice that time of year and we only ever visited once, 5 years ago (for the nuptials, so not a lot of sightseeing time).


I've just gotten so wrapped up in myself lately that I can't even seem to manage a fucking normal conversation with anyone anymore. I'm terrified of talking to people. When did THAT happen? And for this last month I've been not coping well. A cookie a day makes the depression go away (for a couple minutes). I'm not a binger nor an overeater. I've just got a raging sweettooth that I haven't had the willpower to control lately. Or I should say chocolatetooth.

And winetooth. My lovely alcohol. Although I have come to the conclusion that I get my hangovers early. I just can't marathon drink. Any more than a couple or three hours and I feel like death, although I'm fine in the morning.

Even the Red Cross rejected me. Not enough iron; I failed the hemocrit at 1% lower than the cutoff. We've rescheduled for this Saturday and I'm taking iron supplements and hopefully those little red blood cells have been reproducing. It's not unusual, I've been turned away before.

By the way, the R.C. called (I was JUST past the 2 month deadline) because their blood supply for certain types is at extremely low levels. It's not Christmas, neither has there been a national disaster nor anyone I know is dying, and I know not everyone is able to donate (K the Love Monkey himself passes out) but please consider blood donation right now if you meet the criteria. Your blood could make a real, concrete difference in someone else's life.


Gale said...

It's nice to see you here Alice. It's been a while.

uberstrickenfrau said...

Hang tight, summer is coming and with it a nice lovey better attitude, at least, that's what I keep telling myself. Your lucky it's nice there, we have snow, two day's worth. It's enough to make me cap myself.

pacalaga said...

Hey, I remember you!
You are the only other person I've ever heard refer to a Simpsons sky. The sky here in AZ does that all the time. Proof positive that you are actually my alter-ego that writes a different blog in the middle of the night while I think I'm sleeping. (Or MAYBE, I'm YOUR alter-ego.)
Not sure where those kids came from though.
Seriously - other people's relatives? Lame. Other people's toddlers in Easter dresses with headless chocolate bunnies? A. Dor. A. Ble. Bring 'em on.

fleegle said...

Feel better soonest! This time of can be depressing. All our leaves and flowers came out, only to be killed by a late frost. Now we have to rake the leaves all over again and everything is back to November-feeling. Sigh.

Carrie said...

Awww, the baby pictures are adorable! Sorry you've been down. That's no fun. Thanks for your comment about giving blood. It's something we should all do whenever possible. I'm going to go check at the hospital and see when the next donation day is.

zoe said...

sending love and hugs your way

way too adorable nieces!

jenifleur said...

Normal conversations are overrated anyway. You have gorgeous nieces and I'm picturing your sky instead of mine.

Pacalaga is onto something. You both tend to comment on the same posts of mine and you're always turning up at the same blogs. Hmmm.