Monday, January 08, 2007

Not an interesting post


Can't sleep. Although I exercised today (sleep++), I also had alcohol with dinner (sleep--) and cake (sleep--, after the sugar crash). Usually you can put me in a dark warm room and I'm out like the proverbial light, but not tonight. After 1.75 hours of tossing back and forth I've given up and here I am, on the couch, not sleeping.

The problem with not being able to sleep is also those thoughts going through my head about what a fuck-up I've been. And all the things I'd like to change about myself. Most of these changes can only be effected over a long-term period (not gonna lose 40 pounds overnight, no matter how much tossing I do), so of course I can't DO anything about them tonight, bah.

So because it's my blog and I can wank around on it all I like, my little head-list.

Not be such a pack rat.
Get rid of the extra STUFF
Do, instead of accumulate.
Garden less haphazardly.
Get rid of the crap.
Lose the weight, lose the fat, feel better.
Make better food choices All The Time.
Cut out the booze. It's not helping with the weight and the sleeping.
Finally get around to figuring out how to register & setup my own site.
Finally send Grandma a letter and pictures and yarn.
Did I mention getting rid of stuff? KNIT FROM THE STASH. FINISH SOME QUILTS.
Stop buying crap
Sell/give/barter the stuff I'll never get around to using.

Oh, here's the cat, out wondering why I'm not in bed. She's now proceeded to fall asleep in my lap, while I am still WIDE AWAKE. Enjoy your sleep, kitty.


Marianne said...

Hey, you exercised, you're way ahead of me. I can so relate to your list, except I'm pretty good about not drinking (this particular wisdom came with age, that's all). But the rest? I was wondering if I'd written it, and about your Grandma? Send it, then send her another letter, and another one, and so on. I've been missing my Grandma for over 20 years (yes, I'm much older than you, I'd say) she died when I was 28, she and I were very close....send it.
Don't be beating yourself up so much, it all takes time.

Hope you get some sleep, and feel better.

Amy said...

Hmmm...good food AND no alcohol? Is that even possible?

kmkat said...

If you are really serious about those things, change the wording on some of those -- make them all into specific positive statements. "I will eat only between the hours of 8:00 and 8:03am" or "I will have one drink per day" or "Every month I will start one project from stash." It's a little psychological trick, albeit a good one, that we can play on ourselves. It's much more possible to DO something (from the positive statement) than to NOT do something (from the negative statement).

Plus, only change ONE thing at a time. Baby steps, baby, baby steps.

Just my 2¢... and good luck!

jenifleur said...

I'd like to do all of those things, too. Only I need to have my husband quit accumulating crap. Less crap!

Also, I don't think it's really possible for me to be a less haphazard gardener, I'm probably incorrigible where that's concerned. But I'll try with you!

Ha! My verification word is "spudsmy". It's a sign from the gardening gods!

Gale said...

I too need a list like yours. Wishing you a better sleep tonight.

zoe said...

ebay all the clutter
have a counter voice to the inner one that says you are a loser
congratulate yourself on walking
congratulate yourself on making a list
we are here to support you, lean on us.
love, karen

Cheryl said...

Your list is way too long! Cut it down to just one or two things. One step at a time!

zoe said...

if you want ebay help, write me

Rabbitch said...

I will drink your share of the alcohol. I believe it to be my xian duty.

You're welcome.

You can send me all your yarn, too *g*.

But not the cat or the rest of the clutter, k?