Thursday, January 25, 2007


Those quotation marks in the title? Not quotation marks. Instead, they are "sarcasm tongs." They depend highly on context for differentiating them from regular quotes. They're my sarcasm markers for text even though no one understands that but me and a few other people on an obscure messaging system. Nobody gets the joke when I laugh at signs that use quotation marks for "emphasis."


Krista said something the other day in the comments that made me bust a gut laughing:

This is beginning to sound like a weight watchers meeting. "When I really crave chocolate cake I eat an apple and that gets rid of my craving!" Yeah, right. I still want chocolate cake, but we're in this together. UFO's ahoy!

Mmm, chocolate cake. However, I am remaining strong. I even went into a yarn store the other day and Bought Nothing. It really is a damper on the yarn lust to think of the pile (and it is a pile) of yarn awaiting me. It's embarassing how far I've let this go. Too much stuff and not enough Do.

It's not really been a great week. It's one of those weeks where I just feel low, unworthy, tired, dull, profligate, stupid, and generally a worthless person. Please don't say anything, I'm not angling for sympathy, it's just a statement of fact. The self-esteem, he is not so high in the first place, no? It makes me reticent because everyone gets tired of the whining.

Usually I can wait these little episodes out, and I have been feeling a bit better today, but they sure play hell with my eating and sleeping and drinking plans. Self-medication. The forebrain knows that the chocolate bar will just make me feel like crap, but the hindbrain knows that it will feel good for at least a few seconds first. Uh, maybe you could say it's been a week of instant gratification. And no pictures.

BUT, I have not bought yarn for me. That's something, isn't it?

In other adventures, Karen asked how the Run-a-gogo has been going. Here's what I've got so far:

Walking: 30 miles
Gym (elliptical trainer): 24.6 miles

Seems like a lot, but really: not so good. I get a freebee, no-strain 100 miles just because I walk 2 miles every day going to and from work. I shouldn't even be counting it toward the total there. It's good for my health, but it doesn't do much for the fat.

To be effective for weight loss, I need to be doing sweat-and-pulse-rate-raising exercise 4-5 times a week, 40 minutes a session. I know this from personal long-time experience. An average session is about 3.5-4 miles on an elliptical trainer or treadmill (I don't run. Bad knees). It'd be better if I were weight lifting as well, but I'm not ready to spend the time nor energy to go there yet.

So my Secret Goal all along has been 200 miles total, not counting the daily walk. I included the walking total so I didn't feel quite so wussy.

This is all only about ME, of course. Your mileage will vary. I've got the genes of a yak: highly optimized to survive long, viciously cold winters by efficiently handling fat supply, and plenty of thick hair for insulation. ha ha


Olga said...

Your body is primed into survival mode so when the 'big' one comes, you'll get the last laugh.And that smug little thought will keep you going on bad hair days....

Carole Knits said...

The mileage is great and you can count whatever you want. I'm only counting exercise miles because it's the only way to force myself to go!

Krista M said...

Your goal is incredible. I don't hink I've walked 200 miles total in my entire life! Glad I could make you smile. I left you a little treat on my page. Hope you like it!

zoe said...

I wondered where you have been! I have been looking for you every day! Okay, for starters, the mileage is great, and to and from work counts.
Now, regarding the other stuff.... hey kiddo, you gotta come up with some great one liners to counter those shitty remarks one part of your brain is coming up with! It works! If you cant come up with some, I will be happy to email you a list of what IIII would say to those fucking voices

Carol said...

I love the expression "sarcasm tongs". I am searching about for something encouraging to say that doesn't sound either trite or patronizing (Hang in there, anyone?) so how about....hugs.

kmkat said...

"sarcasm tongs"? I shared that one with my teen-age son and we were both LOL!

pacalaga said...

Um, could you get out of my head, please? It's crowded enough in there with all the other voices. I love the sarcasm tongs - what a great name for them.

BigAlice said...

HAHAHAHAHA, thanks Olga.