There are helicopters hovering overhead for the last 2 hours and allegedly this guy is running around my neighborhood. That would explain the 15 (yes, 15) cop cars that passed me on my walk home. Seems like a good time for a post.

I just got back from my wedding dress fitting. I decided to suck it up and have my dress made because:

1. I couldn't find anything I even vaguely liked with sleeves


2. I look really awful in strapless dresses and it would give my parents a heart attack. Just push more of that fat up to the underarms, willya?


3. I looked like big white bell in everything, strapless or otherwise


4. I'm too big for couture dresses (e.g., non-big-white-bell dresses), and


5. I didn't arrange to buy a couture dress specially-made in my size eight months in advance.

A very talented woman, owner of Embellish, designed and sewed my dress. Today was next-to-the-last fitting.

It's made out of silk dupioni, one of my favorite silks. I am a big sucker for silk. The shantung was also nice but also $40/yard more expensive. It's got silk chiffon butterfly sleeves, a high empire waist, and a sweetheart neckline.

I'm torn, because the dress is really lovely. It fits me perfectly, of course. But I'm just big. I feel like a Big White Presence wearing it. And the gorgeousness of the silk just underscores the fact that I'm a pretty plain-looking person and I really need some professional help on the hair and makeup fronts. I haven't actually figured that out yet. I know, we're down to T-25 days and counting and I am hair-salon-less. You see, I did have it all arranged and I showed up and didn't really have any idea what'd look good on me and these people, well, they're supposed to make other people look good. They're professionals at it, right? So couldn't they do that to me?

I call the results "trailer trash goes to the prom":


Or perhaps, "I am so white."

I asked them to go light light light on the makeup, and looking at this picture, I suppose they did. My skin: usually pretty awful (mmm, acne scars). But I agree with my coworker, who listened to me whine and then said to me "Oh, it's the eyeliner. Eyeliner makes people who never wear makeup look like prostitutes." I have the little sunken piggy eyes, yeah? Bah. I think I could use some lipstick with color, too.



It looks nice enough from the back (I have very long, thick, usually very straight hair. It's all been curled with a large curling iron for this 'do). But I smelled as if my head would catch fire if there was a stray spark floating around.

So. Now I am Screwed. No hair dresser, no makeup, and that dress just brought it all home. I've been having nightmares for days about my hair. Gah. I'm no princess, and it feels like no matter what I do, I'm just going to look ridiculous. Anyone know a salon or person in Portland, Oregon, who knows how to deal with big thick hair? One good thing I did learn: I'm right to keep the bangs.